A year late – but better late than never, so they say. Last year, I wrote this letter to Clara on her birthday and planned to create one of my fabulous slide shows for her…but it took me until a week after her second birthday to actually put the slide show together.

It’s cool because now there is just one more year of Clara to celebrate, no?

So, without further ado, that letter and that slide show await!

*****

My Green Eyed Girl,

Today you are one. You were born on your dad’s birthday but God sent you here with green eyes, like your mom’s.

You have given us a whole year of you. And you are wonderful (or should I say, “one-derful”? Hardy, har, har. It’s my blog so I can be as corny as I want).

After your beautiful older sister was born I faced one of the darkest times I have ever known. (May you and your sister never know such darkness.) Your sister was a delight, she was a ray of hope in my life that was all of a sudden, out of nowhere, shrouded in painful darkness.  Right now you don’t notice, but one day you’ll wonder why there is a bit of a gap between you and your sis. It took me time to muster up the courage to get you here. Your sister came at such a heavy price, I was scared – yup, your mom was really and truly scared- that the same price might have to be paid for you.

If I could have held your soft body next to mine, heard your voice and seen those green eyes I would have been braver sooner.

But there was only the vague promise of your sweetness and an 80 percent chance of having to face that awful, awful darkness again.

I took me some time but eventually I took the chance.

You would be worth whatever was asked.

I stepped off into the abyss…

And on the other side of all my apprehension,

was

Y O U.

Unimaginably sweet little you.

And you are a treasure to me. How I love you. Oh, how I love you!

Your name means light.

I did everything in my power to avoid that darkness – and after all I did to keep it at bay – it came.

But only for a brief moment (darkness, prepare to meet ZOLOFT, ha, HA!) I was ready for it this time and after all I did to fight it, God was merciful. I know he tempered things. And for his mercy I will forever be grateful.

Not darkness, but light.

A little bundle of clarity wrapped in a hospital issue blanket.

My Clara Jane.

My green-eyed girl.

I love you.

Happy Birthday.

Love,

Mom

Today is my bro-in-law Allan’s birthday. I started writing this post about him last week and have been continually checking my birthday calendar to make sure I got his b-day right…Meanwhile, I didn’t realize that today was the 31st – ALLAN’S BIRTHDAY- the very day in which he had I had exchanged multiple emails AND talked on the phone and I never once said, “happy birthday” because I didn’t know what day of the month it was. Just in case you’re wondering, sometimes it stinks to have a brain like mine.

It’s okay I guess, because the last time we talked on the phone I started crying when I told him that I loved him. I think he’d prefer I forget his birthday rather than blubbering at him on the phone. Would you say that was true, Al?

Right!

Now, the time has officially come for me to GUSH about Allan. You ready for this? Here were go!!

For starters he is a man with a great deal of energy, determination, enthusiasm, smarts, kindness and overall goodness. He is VERY intelligent and he is loads of fun.

I would like to tell you one of my all time favorite Allan memories.  Several years ago when we were all going on a long drive as a family (Kevin & Khaliel, all their children and their spouses). Somehow I had the good fortune of driving in the car with Allan. I think we were trying to come up with ways to pass the time – and all of the sudden Allan suggested we sing songs from Les Miserables….and then before we knew it, Allan, in his full beautiful tenor voice sung out,

“LOOK DOWN! LOOK DOWN!”

and an hour or more later he was wrapping it up with,

“CAN YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING”

WHAT A PERFORMANCE!! He knew it all! Every last word. He could have sung all the parts but let the rest of us join in. When I wasn’t crying with laughter I was singing my heart out.

Me: Don’t you fret Monsieur Marius, I don’t feel any pain. A little fall of rain. Can hardly hurt me now.

Allan: I’m here!

Me: That’s all I need to know!

(We were inspiring, were we not, dear brother-in-law?)

If I could snag your birthday wish and make it my own I would wish to be on a long car journey with you right now, singing! Those were some good times!

Allan is not only fun. He is funny! And he has a great laugh which I always love to hear.

He is also very bright. I think he got mostly A’s his first trimester of law school and never had to pick up a book to study. He doesn’t have to study for hours on end because when he reads it, he remembers it. (I bet he remembers dates pretty well too!) And this man knows his way around a book store and library! He knows just about everything, because he has read so darn much. But don’t let this lead you to believe he is some sort of book-ish nerd. Oh, no! He may have decided opinions on world politics but he also has equally strong feelings about the latest Coldplay album.

While we are on the topic of Allan’s reading habits, I would like to mention that Allan loves Charles Dickens. I could be wrong but I think he has read his all of his novels. Our family enjoys watching all the Dickens film adaptations, and while we watch Allan will say, “I think they departed from the book too much here – I prefer…” HUH? You mean this cool movie started out as a book?!

Allan is beloved by his wife and children. He is a family man through and through – and a very successful one at that.  One thing I love about Allan, and a trait we share in common is our love for a tidy house. When he comes home from school/ work he puts his kids to work tidying and cleaning. I think this is totally awesome! One, I love his love for tidiness. Two, I love that he doesn’t make his wife keep it tidy. Three, I love that he makes his kids do it. Wouldn’t you love if your man came home from work and made the kids clean up?? Completely without a doubt wonderful!

Allan is one of the smartest people I know. Before law school he went to work for a little start up company, and while there he grew the company by leaps and bounds. He was telling me some of his strategies and what he advised them to do. And I was in awe. I think he was an English major in college so when I asked him where he learned all this stuff he said, “I just kind of had a sense of what to do.” For reals, the man has many, many talents.

He is married to a fine looking woman and they have three (very soon to be four) beautiful children. Allan loves babies and he loves kids. I think he’d love to have a family that reaches the double digits, if his wife will go along with him.  One day out of the blue he started singing a song about his love for children, Summer wrote it down and put it on our family network, and whenever I think of it, I SMILE.

Here is is: (to the tune of Little mermaid)

“Look at my kids, are they so cute…I’ve got crawlers and walkers to boot…You want children that fetch and carry? I’ve got plenty…But who cares…No big deal…I want MOOOORE

They are pretty awesome, as far as kids go. No wonder he’d like a few more, says I!

Allan is a man of God. He is deeply devoted to his God and is a person of integrity. He works hard at whatever he does, but he works with particular love and dedication when he is serving the Lord, in whatever capacity he has been asked to serve.

Allan is also a man who inspires confidence. Just today when I spoke to him on the phone I thought, “This guy knows what is going on and how to get the job done!” I love him for many reasons, but most of all I love him for the good and honest man that he is, for the way he loves and cares for my sister and their children…and that he puts up with a forgetful and blubbering sister-in-law!

I sure love you, Al!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Yesterday was my sister-in-law’s birthday. When I texted her on her special day she informed me that she was in the middle of  making chocolate babka. How awesome is that?! You love her already, right?

Nikki is a woman of many talents. If you have a moment to spare, I would love to rave about her to you!

There are many reasons I love Nikki. But the first thing that springs to mind is that Nikki doesn’t take NO C***.  Recently we had a family meeting and were all talking over goals and so forth and she said, “Now let’s do something about it, people!” Later Jan confided in me that he found Nikki’s enthusiasm and straightforward-ness, “Rather refreshing”.  Nikks is a person who doesn’t do things half way; equally, she also doesn’t feel things half-way either. And when her feelings run strong and deep, LOOK OUT, suckaz! Just read this post of hers about her feelings re: New Yorkers who treat dogs as though they were children, and you will get a taste of what I am talking about.

Nikki is very athletic. VERY. She likes to do an iron man every now and again and run in multiple marathons and so forth. After giving birth to her son, and only staying one night in the hospital, she got out of bed and then walked right out the door. People kept offering her a wheelchair and she looked at them like they were nuts. I was about 8 months pregnant when John was born and as I watched Nikki leaving the hospital I thought, “Yeah! Me too! I am soooo walking out of the hospital – I won’t need a wheelchair either!” Squeeeeak, squeak went the wheels on my wheelchair a month later as I was (cough, cough) wheeled out of the hospital and didn’t walk for about three days after I got home. Who was I kidding! I am not Nikki. After all this was the woman who was running through Central Park at 9 months pregnant!

Nikki knows her way around the kitchen. I am so lucky that all the women that my brothers have married know what they are doing when it comes to food. It makes our Thanksgivings soooo very delightful! Speaking of Thanksgiving, Nikki and I share a common love for stuffing. Last year was a bit nuts and some of the things that we were hoping would be on our T-day table didn’t materialize. Like me, all Nikki really cared about was, “Will there still be stuffing?!”  There was a gleam in my eye, that special gleam of understanding when I assured her that, yes, there would be stuffing. And we sighed a collective sigh of relief.

While we are on the topic of food I must mention that Nikki’s favorite food is chocolate chip cookies. She LOVES em! Which is nice, right – she may have abs of steel, but she still can chow down on a cookie like the rest of us! The cookies and the stuffing she does in moderation. Most of the time she is carefully preparing a gorgeous meal of locally grown produce and feeding her young son raw milk.  She also makes a mean loaf of wheat bread, just in case you were wondering. And she is very well hydrated as she always carries a water bottle with her.

But don’t hate her because she is perfect, people! Seriously, I wish I could twinkle myself and be more like Nikki when it comes to fitness and general well being. She runs, rides her bike, does yoga. She’s awesome!

She is also a wonderful wife and mother. She is so true to Cameron and John. She just loves her boys. I wouldn’t categorize Nikks as  “touchy-feely”  person. But I tell you what, when John was born I loved watching him completely disarm and melt his mother. He made her go all gooey and cooey (in a good way!) And boy, is he one lucky guy because his mommy is awesome!!  She loves John with true devotion, but that doesn’t mean that she will take any C*** from him! (Has anyone noticed how much I love and respect this type of mom? Loving but firm, and consistent. Nikki is up there with the best of them!) She does a tremendous job of teaching him how to be a delightful human. How to take naps, eat well and live life fully. He has got buckets of energy and luckily God sent him to a mother who also has buckets of energy. They are a great match!

Nikki is so good. She wants to do what is right. She has a testimony and she is devoted to God.

Nikki is a hot mama(as you may have noticed)- long blond hair, blue eyes and abs of steel (which I think I already mentioned once before – but come on, how many women do you know PERSONALLY who have borne children and can boast abs of steel – these abs must be celebrated!!)

Nikki is also a team player. The Kelly family, as in *my* family, is a pretty swell bunch of people – but we are also nuts, and downright frustrating to the in-laws at times. Nikki rolls with the tide – she goes with the flow and is a very, very good sport. I still remember two Christmases ago when we were all together she said to us, after she’d done the dishes for the umpteenth time, “I love you guys, but you sure are slobs!” Even now thinking of this makes me smile. It is just so Nikki – honest and as Jan put it, “refreshingly so”!

I love my sister-in-law – she is a winner! I have felt even closer to her lately and that has been a very big blessing to me. I feel that she has so much to teach me and there are so many things about her that I admire and would like to emulate. But of all the things she is and does I am most grateful that she loves my brother and my nephew…and even little old me.

Happy birthday my beautiful, kick-butt sis-in-law Nikki!

P.S. Ladies, quick question: would you go along with your husband if he tried to talk you into traveling across the country at Xmas time dressed like a Christmas elf? Nikki did and check out the results!  When I was searching for pictures of Nikki and found this one I just HAD to include it. I still remember watching them walk through my parents’ front door at Christmas. Just makes me wanna sing a Christmas carol right here, right now! Isn’t this crazy and aren’t they DARLING?!

P.P.S Nikki, Jan is out of town and he usually edits my posts for me, feel free to edit this if you feel so inclined — thanks, friend! BTW, how did the babka turn out? If it is good, lets make that for our Babs (aka Betta K Kelly) some time, don’t you think that would be fun?

Today is my cousin-in-law’s birthday. She is a wonder and I love her. You know what that means don’t ya!? – it mean’s a birthday toast here on old Dawesome!

To begin, Lindsey is very, very smart – I don’t know how she knows ALL that she knows  but it seems like if I have a question about just about anything she knows the answer. She has a great brain. It holds lots of information, information that she can retain. To me this is miraculous because 15 minutes after reading something I pretty much forget it. Added to her very fine brain she is a deeply passionate person. If she is passionate about a given subject she immerses herself in it – lives it, drinks it, breathes it. From there, she masters it and then moves on to the next thing. I often think that if she decided to she could do just about ANYTHING. Her general pattern is to  figure it out, conquer it and basically own it!

She is also very talented. Her talents range far and wide – but the one I often feel most grateful for is her remarkable ability to cook. She is a chef-ess if ever I met one. She can do it all – from foie gras to souffle. But even though she can do fancy, she will still feed her kids mac and cheese. Once my sister Brynn and I were talking about Linds and her cooking skillz. We were generally marveling about her great gift then Brynn said something profound, “I don’t even want to ask Lindsey for her recipe, because I know if I make it, it won’t turn out as well as it would if she made it.” Brynn is right. Lindsey doesn’t just have a sense for food – she’ll often take a recipe and improve it, she’s got magic hands. If she touches it, it turns to gold! It is that special something that is just, God given.

Just look at the work and love she put into the cake she made for Chas and Sam’s wedding. She’d never made a wedding cake EVER, yet she was able to whip up this four tiered wonder!  When true genius and true love comes together it is  the most beautiful combination.

(Plus she made the other two cakes you see pictured!)

Whenever I have a cooking question or am in the middle of experiencing a cooking disaster I call Lindsey. Once I was making pistachio ice cream for a friend and it WAS A TOTAL NIGHTMARE, until I called the “Ice Cream Whisperer” aka Lindsey and she not only talked me off the cliff, she took my sorry excuse for ice cream and turned it into a masterpiece! (Every time I call her and ask for her help I feel kind of cool – like I have a direct line to a cooking genius – I don’t need to watch Rachael Ray cuz I’ve got my Lindsey J, suckaz!!)

Now, I also know that Linds has had moments where things haven’t turned out PERFECTLY – but in general I have to put her right up there with Julia Child. For several years she wrote a very popular blog called Cafe Johnsonia, which had a considerable following. A few months ago she decided to give it up because she felt like it was taking over her life and that she wasn’t able to spend proper time with her kids. Many times I hear this type of conundrum referred to as a “work/life balance” issue. For many successful women bloggers, blogging  is a way to get out of being a mom. But not Linds, when she felt like it was taking too much focus away from her most important priority she cast it right off. Over and done. The end.

This is something else that I really admire and respect about Lindsay. I think at her core she is a deeply spiritual person. I watched her be semi-tortured over her blog and her relationship to it. She was always very prayerful about it and how to proceed. I was amazed when she was able to just give it up and walk away when she realized that it wasn’t the right thing for her to do anymore.

That takes guts.

Lindsay is not only very bright and interesting, she’s also got great taste. Not just in food either! She gets art, and music and home decor etc.

Lindsay is a devoted mother and wife. She is truly devoted to her family.

Not a bad looking crew, if I do say so myself. And speaking of good looking, I think that Lindsey is totally BEAUTIFUL. She has the most beautiful skin – it is milky, flawless and glowing. She has crystal blue eyes a perfect nose (that I actually covet) and rosebud lips.

My mom and I think that she looks like this model.

No doubt if Linds had some of that Le Verns jonx slathered over her eyes and some of that mauve lipstick she could put this chick to shame!

She is also a very talented photographer (see above photos of her progeny as evidence).

She is also very modest. Sometimes I fear maybe too modest – to the point where she has no idea just how wonderful she is and how much she has to offer.

Lindsay is very kind. She is funny and honest. I still remember when she and I went out to lunch when I was in UT last year and she had been reading a book that she felt like she was learning a lot from. I was amazed at her ability to analyze and evaluate her personal efforts to grow and change. It was such a wonderful discussion. She was so honest that it struck me how much of the pain we suffer in relationships comes when we are unable to be honest in love.  I have had many talks like this with her. When we are finished she always inspires me to try harder and be better.  I really appreciate her willingness to be candid and open.

She is also very considerate. When my mom came here to take care of me after Clara was born, Lindsey took care of my dad and siblings who were in UT missing my mom. She took over Sunday dinners, dropped off treats and was all around wonderful. That meant so much to me. Thank you for doing that, Linds!

She also has a little bit of a irreverent streak! She doesn’t bring that one out around me that often, but I know it is there.

She has been through many, many hard things in her young life – but she has held on to the good and consequently she has been and continues to be blessed. Both she and her husband, my cousin Fred, have been through some very challenging experiences. I admire both of them for their commitment to each other, to their kids and to the gospel.

I for one feel very, very blessed not only to know her but to call her a cousin!

Happy Birthday, Linds!

P.S. What cake did you make for your birthday & please tell me it had butter cream frosting!!! Seriously, I hope your day was wonderful because you deserve WONDERFUL!!

Today is my friend Erika’s birthday. I would love to tell you a little bit about her.

She is a beauty. A thinker. A worker. A love. A true friend and a wonder!

She is a person of true depth and goodness.

I still remember the first time I saw her. This is so wrong of me but I judged her hard core. She was so beautiful and confident  I thought, “Oh, she looks too good to be true. I doubt we’ll be friends.”

How lame was I?

And how wrong was I!

Actually, I was right about one thing – she kind of is too good to be true. I guess when I saw how beautiful she was, how stylish and put together – I figured that was who she was and what she cared about. Now, I will be the first to tell you that this woman can do fashion. She is put together and she is a hot tamale – but she is sooooooooo, soooooooooo, sooooooooo much more than her very beautiful exterior!

I think that as I got over my own stupid insecurities I could see that behind her flawless beauty was a heart that loved God – truly and completely. She cared about and loved and wanted the same things that I did. To be true to the covenants she’d made with God. To create a home where the Spirit could be. To be a devoted wife and mother.

One of the things I love and admire most about Erika is her commitment to live the gospel with her whole heart. She is so committed to doing what is right, no matter the cost and no matter the consequence. Oh, how I love and admire her for her integrity and her desire to do what is right.

When we met I was brand newly married and she was still single. She was one of the few people in the singles ward who would be my friend. Once I was married I became invisible to most of the members in the ward. It was kind of odd. But Erika, bless her heart, reached out to me in love – and because of her confidence and goodness we became fast friends.

We spent many, many hours talking over our goals and our hearts’ desires. More than once she wondered out loud if she would ever get married…Little did I know how many MORE hours we would spend talking over these matters of the heart as our friendship carried on.

Her time in London, when we met, became a moral crossroads for her. She learned a lot and had to make some very hard decisions. It was the beginning of a pattern for our relationship. I would stand back in awe, on the side lines, shouting out encouragement, as she was put to the test (and by test, I mean the test of life) and watched in admiration as SHE PASSED with FLYING COLORS!

Oh, if I had the time to tell you the epic story of how she met and married her wonderful, wonderful husband, Travis. Never, ever have I seen a couple be put through so much to earn the blessing of being married. On their wedding day I sat in the temple and wept as I watched the two of them. This much I can tell you, this is a powerful, wonderful couple. I love them. I actually crave them sometimes. They are so DARLING together – such a dynamic team. I wish we could be next door neighbors. I really, really do!

Erika has tons and tons of energy. Even when she is tired it seems like she could light an entire city with her energy. She is determined and hard working. She is willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to get the job done. She is also really, really funny! We have shared some serious laughs.

Speaking of laughs – one of the things I love most about Erika is her ability to laugh at her mistakes. She is a wonderful ability to analyze a given situation, and herself in that situation – see it clearly and also see how to go forward. And when it is funny – she laughs about it. Isn’t that cool?!

One of my favorite memories of her is when we were running around London with a frozen turkey and a bunch of potatoes in her carry on suitcase.  THAT WAS NUTS! And so stinkin’ funny! The end result was awesome when we hosted Thanksgiving for about 20 people, thankyouverymuch. But getting that bird around London was NOT easy!

She is PASSIONATE! Deeply, deeply passionate. If there is something that matters to her…SHE CARES! She really, really cares.

She has many, many talents and skills – but the one I would like to mention right now is that she can parallel park an Escalade as though it were a Mini Cooper. And that ain’t small fries, my friends! That is skillz! With a “z”!

The other thing I love and appreciate about Erika is that she is a talker! (And very articulate at that) Do you know what happens when one talker (me) is put together with another talker (Erika)? LOTS OF CONVO, people. We are talking serious conversation! When she and I were last together we talked so much that I think we were still talking as she drove away. Did I run after the car? I think Poor Travis finally had to roll the windows up to get us to STOP.

Erika comes off as being so poised and put together you could never imagine that she is a person who has known and overcome the kind of challenges that would wither and destroy the heart of a lesser person.  Everything about her says, “CHARMED”, but I tell you what – she is real. As real as they come. She has true grit, substance and power. Her greatest power is manifest in her ability to love.

It has been a thing of beauty to see her love poured out upon her son. Never have I known a more devoted mother. She delights in her little boy. DELIGHTS in his every gesture and accomplishment. One time we were talking on the phone and he sneezed in her face and she laughed and said to him, “One day that will be inappropriate, but right now I think that is the CUTEST thing ever!”

The love I have for Erika and the friendship that we share feels to me that it started many, many years before our initial meeting in London in 2006. I think we knew and loved each other LONG before. What do you think, E?

Happy, happy birthday – my dear and wonderful friend! How I love you!

Ah, me! The percentage of people I adore born in the wintry month of January is rather LARGE, is it not?

Amanda, whose birthday I will now celebrate, called me the day before her birthday to “let me off the hook.” She is a regular reader of this old blog and knowing my penchant for birthday tributes she said, “Just pretend like my birthday is another day!”

AS IF!

There is a phrase in Spanish that describes my feelings for Amanda perfectly – “Mi media naranja” – it is actually the English equivalent of “my other half”  -but the direct translation is to say that the person is the other half of one’s orange. I have always thought this is one of the world’s cutest sayings. Amanda is an orange to me! She is like my tall glass of orange juice at the start of the day, talking to her always gives me a boost. She is like the orange at the bottom of my Christmas stocking, knowing her and loving her is an absolute TREAT. Further more, I believe that if Amanda were to be a fruit she would choose to be an orange, as she adores the color so! So media naranja it is!

The very first time that she and I were spotted hanging out together – one of AJ’s neighbors asked her, “Is your sister in town?” She was referring to little old me. Oh, how truly inspired that neighbor was. She was not the first to think we were related. In fact, I have lost count of the times that people have asked us if we are sisters. OR even more extreme when people have thought I was Amanda or the times that people thought Amanda was me. It is SERIOUSLY nuts.

(who’s who? This is tricky of me – but we switched babies, did we getcha?!)

I don’t mind one little bit being confused for AJ because I think she is a FOX. Please, confuse me for her any day of the week, dear people of the world. I believe her to be my superior in “the babe department” so it sends a thrill right through me when people think that I am her.

Let me tell you a little bit about her.

She is a wonderful contradiction of true self discipline and relaxed laid-back-ness. She lives her life with order and purpose, but she knows when to throw it all out the window and let go. For example, her house is always very tidy and orderly (and her kitchen floor is so clean I would feel comfortable eating off of it) and yet when something comes up or someone needs her help, she can let things go while she reaches out to the person in need.  She raises her kids with a sense of boundaries and discipline, for example, how many four year olds do you know who ask their parents to take them home from a party because they are ready to go to bed? Just saying, this kind of thing doesn’t just miraculously occur. It is the result of training. Her self discipline has most recently manifest itself in her ability to loose over 50 lbs, I have actually lost track of how much she has lost. She has shed way more than those pesky “baby weight” pounds and I am here to report that she is looking gooooood!

She is REAL. What I mean by this is that when Amanda tells you how she feels about something – she is going to tell you the truth.  I find this so refreshing. I feel like her commitment to honesty  has given me the freedom and opportunity to try to be more honest myself. More than once I have been in a situation where I’ve had a choice of sugar coating something or just being straightforward and saying what I really felt – I thought of Amanda and chose to be honest! That is kind of awesome, don’t you think? Just the kind of thing you hope your friends will do for you – help you be a better human being.

She is devoted. If I know anything for certain, I know that Amanda has my back. That she will look out for my best interests and that she will defend me to the bitter end. When something horrible happens she’s one of the first people I call and equally if something wonderful happens she is right there at the top of my list of people with whom I must share my good news. She is also devoted to her family and to her God. She has always wanted to please God – even as a child, when for a time, those closest to her were fading in their convictions, Amanda stayed true to the gospel.  I don’t know what else to say except that she is a rock.

She is funny. I still remember one time she told me this story where I laughed so hard my back started to hurt and Jan came up from his office to see what in the world was going on. I think I might have even fallen to the floor laughing.

Amanda is one of my style icons. I watch how she dresses and what she is doing and then I copy her. Actually I think we might be on some kind of clairvoyance in the style department as we are constantly buying the SAME things without knowing the other person has bought them. Whether for ourselves or our children – we are drawn to the same stuff. This makes a shopping trip ever so enjoyable. My idea of heaven is being at the Mall with AJ and other our bud, Emily – no kids in tow and laughing till we think we might pee our pants. The other crazy clairvoyance thing we’ve got going on is that we show up at church wearing identical outfits on a regular basis. I still don’t know how we do it, but it happens all the stinkin’ time. (This may be one of the reasons that we are always being confused for the other person.)

Amanda is a kick-butt mom. She is one of the very best, in my humble opinion. Her kids are awesome. Once I overheard some people talking about her kids and wondering, “Why are they so good?” I HAD  to step in and say, “Umm, I think it may have to do with the fact that their mom is AWESOME.” Ya think? She is the kind of mom who doesn’t take any c***. She was very wise to marry Craig who is an equally terrific father. It seems to me like when the parents are on the same page the results are MAGICAL. I love their kids like they were my own. And that isn’t really saying much for me and my capacity to love – it is saying a lot about the QUALITY of the kids and the way they are being raised.

She likes to scare me on a semi-regular basis by telling me that her husband is thinking of taking work positions in foreign lands. In the early days of our relationship I would panic internally during these conversations – but on the surface I would try to remain indifferent and calm. Recently, there was another scare where for a brief moment it looked like her husband was considering making a move to a far away place. I think my heart stopped beating for a moment. I came flat out and told her, “I can’t be neutral. I am not a good sounding board for you on this one.” When she later told me that her husband had decided against going for the position all of a sudden I felt like DANCING!

Here’s the thing – I cannot imagine my life without her!

I love you, my little orange julius. I don’t know where I would be or what I would do without you!

Happy Birthday!

(The month of January is a busy one for Birthdays, I tell ya.)

And today I am celebrating my dear and wonderful friend –

Neylan Gwyneth McBaine.

Actually, I have given her the middle name of Gwyneth because she really doesn’t care for her middle name. I remember when we were young (as in 15 years old or so) trying to tease the desired info out of her,”what is your middle name? tell me, tell me, tell me please!!!” She didn’t tell me for months – which was a big deal because we told each other E V E R Y T H I N G!  Eventually she relented and told me. Personally I think her middle name is a perfectly delightful middle name, but I am not going to tell you what it is. Sorry. She really doesn’t like it and it is her birthday so I am not going to spill the beans. I want this tribute to fill her with joy, not tick her off.

I will tell you why I have chosen this new middle name for her. To me, she is the closest person I’ve got to Gwyneth Paltrow. She is the Gwyneth in my life. She was born and raised in Manhattan across the street from Lincoln Center (Just like Gwyn who was born and raised in NYC).  She is a New Yorker through and through. (Just like Gwyn) Her mom is a beautiful famous opera singer who sang around 400 performances at the MET (just like Gwyn who has a famous mommy). She attended fancy schools, one you might have heard of called Chapin – which is the school that Jackie Kennedy attended. (Gwyn actually attended Chapin’s sister school a few blocks away called Spence – so again, just like Gwyn). Unlike Gwyn, Neylan actually graduated from college – but college is where she met her husband Elliot, who is, in my book, a rock star. (Again like Gwyn who is married to a rock star) She is also the only person I know, with whom I am on a first name basis, who owns a pair of those hip and groovy “booties”, at least I think that is what they are called.

Truly, Ney is cool. She just KNOWS what is going on. For example she knows where to eat, where to go, who is doing what, who is performing where, what the critics said, etc, etc, etc. She reads EVERTYHING, and then get this, she remembers it, calls or emails me and says, “Hey, I think this would be a fun thing to do.” and then I say, ‘Okay! I’m down!” If Neylan is around I know this much: fun will be had! Perhaps I should give her yet another middle name, Adventure – she could be like those Spanish ladies with a million names – Neylan Gwyneth Adventure McBaine.

I am liking it!!

The woman has, what seems to me, an unlimited reservoir of energy. She is constantly on the move. Not only is she reading everything under the sun – she is taking her three daughters (and me when I am lucky) to the museum, or the ballet, or the opera, or to violin lessons, or helping out with the PTA. Once, after returning home from a long journey to Europe, she called me and was wondering if I wanted to go to some far flung place in the city. “Didn’t you just get back from Spain?!?! Aren’t you tired?!?!” I asked innocently. Cricket – cricket. “Nope!”

She was still raring to go.  All I could think was, “Caramba!”

Neylan Gwyneth Adventure Caramba McBaine – ay, ay, ay!!

In combination with this energy of hers is a great brain and massive drive. She likes to accomplish. She likes to have a project. She likes to work hard. May I show you her latest endeavor. It is truly inspiring –

This is something she has been working on for the past few months. It is so neat! I think because Neylan hasn’t ever lived the “typical” Mormon experience – not many LDS peeps are born and raised in Manhattan and own an Armani tuxedo at the age of 15 etc. Neylan has always marched to the beat of her own drum whilst remaining true to the principles of the Gospel. BYU Cougar she is not yet testimony she most definitely has. It bugs her hard core that there are so many misconceptions about our church and so she has done something about it. She has started this website as a place for people to go – both members of our church and those who do not belong to our church but are curious to learn more – to get accurate info about our people. And specifically she wants the world to know about the women of our church.

Just check it out. I DARE you not to be inspired by the goodness of these women. They are all so DIFFERENT and interesting and may I say, fascinating! (Yes I may, this is MY blog). Even when I went to the site to get the logo and the URL I had to tear myself away. “Must write tribute – must not spend the next three hours reading, crying and rejoicing in Neylan’s wonderful labor of love.” I think of this site as the equivalent of a bag of potato chips – you can’t eat just one! At least I cannot read just one. Please, check this out! You won’t be disappointed.

http://www.mormonwomen.com

Neylan and I share a long **history** this means that we have seen it all, peeps! And through ups and downs and all around somehow we have remained friends. I owe this to her. She was the one who held on and kept reaching out to me when for a while I walked away. Because she kept the door open – there could be forgiveness. Thank you for being that brave.

Neylan and I met at a church dance when we were 14. I had spent most of my middle school and high school years lonely. I longed for a friend who would want to do the things I wanted to do, with whom I could share the things that mattered most to me, who would love God the way I did and wanted the same things from life that I wanted. I prayed many prayers for such a friend. And then I met her – in the gym at the Manhattan Chapel.

Oh, the times that were had! There aren’t many people with whom you could share the c0-presidency of the Kenneth Branagh Appreciation society, I can tell you that much.

We had many a sleep over, many a late night chat, many runs through Central Park – singing – yes, we sang, many trips to the theatre – where we met dashing actors who bopped us on our heads with a poster. This would carry on in our later years – meeting dashing actors, that is.

“Sigh no more ladies, Sigh no more!”

But sigh we did, and frequently. These were not sad sighs – they were the sighs that dreams are made of. We were romantics through and through.

No joke. We had fun. Perhaps we would have been laughed to scorn by other mightier cooler types. But we wouldn’t have cared, even if they did, we were too busy swing dancing at Lincoln Center, or reading Shakespeare or watching “A Room with a View”.

Neylan is a very talented concert pianist. I know this because I have heard her play many times. Sometimes I was  in the audience and sometimes in my favorite spot – UNDER the piano. We liked to pretend like she was Chopin and I was George Sands (okay, we were cheesy, but come on! what’s a heart for?!?!) . If you ever get the chance to lie under the piano whilst Neylan plucks the ivories TAKE IT.

That is all I am saying about that.

Fast forward to 2010.

Neylan is also a dedicated mother to three beautiful girls. Girls that are loved by me and mine. Having posted about them at length in other places, I won’t go into it too much here. But these girls of hers are top drawer. (Me loves!!)

They are wonderful in the pattern of their own dear mother. Whose birthday I am honored to celebrate and whose friendship I cherish!

Happy birthday, Neylan Gwyneth Adventure Caramba McBaine! I love ya!

Are you thinking what I am thinking? ANOTHER birthday tribute?! But wait. This one is for my dear, kind, sweet sister-in-law, ALLISON.  That name may ring a bell, she has been mentioned once or twice on this blog. She is one of the best people I know so I would like to celebrate her in classic Dawesome fashion and give her a right old birthday shout out.

There are some very obvious things that I could say about Allison.

Allison is a love. If I were only able to pick one word to describe her the word would be: love. She loves people in a deep and abiding way.  You can feel that when you are with her. Love beams out of her and lands on all those people she comes in contact with.

She is beautiful. And the crazy part is that every time I see her she just seems to get more and more beautiful.

She is kind. There are few people I know who are as kind as Allison. She is determined to see the best in people and in situations. She never says unkind things about people. Now this isn’t to say that she doesn’t object to certain things – she does, it is just that she has something I totally and utterly lack – the ability to keep it to herself. Once I showed her something I knew she wouldn’t be cool with. And I could see on her face that she didn’t like it AND YET she kept her cool and didn’t say anything. I was amazed, still am! She doesn’t find any pleasure in criticism. I can see her cringe when my family starts to pick a movie apart. If it is a movie she loves I sometimes worry that we are picking apart her heart.

Which brings me to the next thing I love about Allison. She is a truly devoted friend, daughter and wife. If she pledges herself to a person or a cause – she defends that person or cause with gusto. Alli, remember the time when I said that I thought that Fenway was a superior ball park to Yankee stadium? It was as if I had uttered blasphemy! She is a Yankee fan, true blue, and she couldn’t believe I would say such a thing! Meanwhile, Ian, also devoted to the team – smiled from ear to ear.  She devotes herself fully to those things she loves and believes in. Her devotion is most beatifully manifested in her relationships. She is deeply devoted to her husband.When she and Ian wed, we used to constantly tell her how much she improved Ian – how she made him a better man. But instead of flattering her this made her upset. When she married Ian she saw the man – but we still saw the little boy that we’d grown up with. The one who convinced Brynn that if she didn’t bring him cinnamon toast he might die. She just hated if we ever said anything about Ian being less than awesome! Guess what, she was right to demand, in a loving way, that we change our tune! As she saw the very best in Ian we could see it too!  She was right.

She is also devoted to her family and to her God. She loves, loves, loves her parents and her siblings.

She has got class. True class. She was raised beautifully by her parents – for example she always washes her hands before she eats anything and loves vegetables – but Allison’s class goes beyond a fantastic and careful upbringing – Allison has got class in the deepest part of her heart. She exudes the same kind of loveliness that Audrey Hepburn had – beauty mingled with a love of humanity and a heart that longs to help those around her. THAT is Allison.

She is a bright person. She gets straight “As” – and works very hard to get them, but she makes it seem like it really isn’t that big of a deal. She takes these impossible classes and tests and gets the highest marks in the class. HUH? I say to myself, how does she do it? She does it with that wonderful brain and killer work ethic of hers.

She is responsible. Just curious, what were you doing when you turned 21? I’ll tell you what Allison was up to: Married at 19 and mother of the ward at 21! Ian was called to be the bishop about two and a half years ago, the day after his 26th birthday. And there, right by his side, was Allison, radiating goodness and light. She was not out partying like many young women her age, Allison was going to nursing school full time and supporting her husband as the wife of the bishop – while serving in four other church callings. Not to brag, but she is off the charts and – did I mention? – is MY sister-in-law, cough, cough.

She is earnest and sincere. Very, very sincere.  I don’t think she has a cynical bone in her entire body. (This is her watching Milo and Otis with Millie and Nikki – I rest my case!)

She is grateful. She appreciates things. Once when we gave her a pair of pillow  “shams” for her birthday she was so excited she exclaimed, “Shams? Shams! I LIVE for shams!!” Allison is like a little kid in her ability to enjoy and appreciate. She loves life. She has fun. She sings along to music in the car, she skips down the street, she loves and lives life fully and intentionally!

She also LOVES food. She really appreciates good food – but most remarkable of all, when she feels full she STOPS eating. Even if what she is eating is really, really good. Every time she does this I marvel. I the person who cannot stop. One of the first things my mom said about her was, “I love this girl! She really appreciates her food.” It is true she does!

This is a really big birthday for Allison.

This is the year when her life will change forever.

This is the year when she will become a mother.

I am very excited for Allison to be a mom. I believe that she was born to do this. She is so kind and so nurturing. I have total confidence in her. All that love she possesses will now be channeled to the tiny human being who will be blessed to call her their, “mom.”

I am looking forward to watching this incredible world open up to you and see what you do with all the challenges and opportunities that motherhood will afford you.

Happy, happy birthday, dear sis (in-law). I sure do love ya!

P.S. She makes a mean tuna melt. Just sayin’.

I also say, Happy Birthday to her, for today is her birthday.

I suppose you will have noticed that these birthday tributes have become a sort of staple around here. What you would never know, unless you were Louise, is that she did one such tribute for me ever so many years ago on her blog. She had a blog L O N G before I even knew what a blog was and she sent me some serious love via that blog of hers.

It is from the seed of love that she planted for me many moons ago that so many other flowers have  bloomed in the form of birthday tributes here on Dawsome. Thank you, my dear friend, for what your kindness has inspired.

So, to the originator of the birthday tribute, “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

A while back I asked Louise what her exact birthday was because, OF COURSE, I was planning on sending her some birthday love. She very humbly told me not to worry about doing this but then went on to ask if I would please write a tribute for her funeral! Oh, dear, NO! There is no way that  I am going to wait till you are dead to let the world know what an awesome lady you are.

This got me thinking, it is a shame that we wait until someone dies to express our deepest feelings for them. In fact, I will go further, it is a shame whenever we resist the urge to express our love to anyone. Let the world take note: expressing love is always an act of courage. And when we hold back love, we hold back the best thing we have to offer each other.

So, dearest, English Rose, my sweet Louise – prepare yourself for some L O V E !!! (you have been warned – I plan to lay it on thick, but I won’t cry into your neck or anything that extreme remembering always that you are English).

Louise has one of the world’s most remarkable memories. She remembers E V E R Y T H I N G. And when I say everything, I mean everything. She remembers dates, poetry, scriptures – it is remarkable. She is just the person you want to have around if the Gettysburg address needs remembering, or a Shakespearean sonnet. I don’t know how she does it, but I, a person who cannot remember from week to week what I have committed myself to doing – be it play dates or dates with my husband – Louise, on the other end of the spectrum has committed the entire dictionary to memory. She is an absolute wonder!

Speaking of this remarkable gift – she has taken her talents – the aforementioned great memory,her smart as a whip-ness, incredible organization, and downright professionalism and made a career of them. She is a top dog personal assistant for the tippity-top dogs themselves.  She has run hotels, taken care of famous peeps, thrown a “hen party” for Joan Collins, and kept the guys in pin striped suits on time.  I wish that I could hire her to run my life for me.  I KNOW she would make it run perfectly. She would make it hum like a fancy engine.

She is a person who lives very close to the Spirit of the Lord. She cares deeply about his will for her. She lives in a very deliberate way so that she can merit His guidance. Once she gets the direction, she follows it.  More than once she’s taught me, through her example, about the kind of person I would like to be. She is patient. Patient and willing to learn the lessons that he would have her learn.

She has a buoyant disposition. At her core she is positive. This makes her an absolute pleasure to be around. Added to this, she has a laugh the size of KENT! If an opera singer can fill the Royal Albert Hall with their singing pipes, Lou could do the same with her laugh. She throws her head back and lets it go, friends! I love it. I think it is a mark of her ability to truly enjoy life.

She is a wonderful contradiction of English propriety – beautifully genteel, sweet and reserved – and an absolute hoot!! She has got ZIP, people, with a capital Z! She can have fun with the best of them.

Louise has a very kind and loving nature. She is an appreciator. She notices things and loves to delight in even the simple daily pleasures that life offers. She is also extremely bright, or clever, as they say on the other side of the pond and a very talented writer.

She is a wonderful wife. I love what a mutual friend of ours said to her on the day she married Jonathon. This friend was single at the time and he said to Louise, ” Johnathon is the luckiest man in the world.” He added that Jonathon would only remain the luckiest man in the world until he got married — single and funny, he was! But I must say that I just loved the sentiment he expressed because it is true. Jonathon married one of the kindest most selfless women on the planet. She is SO incredibly giving. I will forever remember at the height of her mono she ran us back and forth from one end of London to another helping us move stuff in her teeny-weeny little car. You are an angel, Lou – you really are.

She is also a whop-dinger of a mom. Completely devoted to her darling little girl – she is rocking the house in the mommy department! Not too long ago Louise and Jonathon were visiting us and they are so kind to each other and enjoyed each other so much – and they were so excited to have a baby. I remember thinking I cannot wait for these two people to have kids – they will be such a powerful team. Alas, I have not had the chance to meet dear Adelaide but I keep a careful watch on her through her mommy’s blog.  One day! I hope soon we’ll finally get to meet this beguiling little fascinator! I feel confident that she gets what I call a “love shower” every day of her life – her mom, dad and extended family just pour the love down on this kid!

And look at her! What is not to love?! I’m in love with her too and I have never even met her.

Another thing I love about Louise is her open nature. She has always been aware and connected to her feelings.  I have  been impressed with her ability to analyze her deepest emotions. I am not saying that she is an open book, she keeps her cards close – but I really appreciate her ability to be aware of her feelings and her willingness to examine them. She does this a lot on her blog – and this is the main way that she and I stay in touch – so I am grateful for her honesty and openness.

Louise is a devoted friend. She is the kindest and best friend. I have never heard anyone say anything negative about her. She is so kind to everyone she knows – nobody has any dirt on her!

She is also a person who has overcome many challenges in her life and remained lighthearted and cheerful – you know that wonderful quote, “angels fly because they take themselves lightly” – that has always reminded me of Louise.

Sometimes I think you are too good to be true! You are loved by your friend Liza and I know I am one of a multitude of people who simply adore you.

Happy Birthday, my wonderful friend!!

Today is one of my very dearest friends’ birthdays (by the time I get this post finished it will be a belated b-day). I would like to tell you all a little bit about why I love Randall so!

I still remember the very first time I saw Randall. I don’t know why this memory of her is etched in my heart, but it is. I had been hearing about her as I was hanging out with many of her high school buddies. It was the first week of college – so you can imagine that it was a time of huge anxiety for just every one of the 30 thousand students on that campus nestled in the mountains. I had that horrible desperate feeling “must find friends” all the live long day. I remember looking down a long cinder block corridor at BYU’s Helaman Halls and seeing her. The girl who would, in time, become one of my closest and dearest friends. I remember her        L O N G legs. She was wearing jeans and and long sleeve red t-shirt, and boots. Her naturally curly hair hit just below her shoulders and her arm was in a cast. She was standing next to her mom and she looked, well quite honestly she looked absolutely beautiful…and a little vulnerable. It is funny to think of her then – when she was an unknown quantity – as the last 15 years have brought our friendship through the peaks and valleys of what is often referred to as “real life”.

I have always loved Randall. Always. I think I was born to love her. She is a person for whom my love, respect and admiration has grown as I have gotten to know her better.  I believe she is a person who God trusts implicitly. I say this because I have known some of the trials he has trusted her with. I don’t know a person who has been through more and has remained so lovely, so pure, and so completely devoted to God. When the time comes that the things that we have conquered are shouted from the roof tops and a heavenly cheer rises up, I hope to be one of the lucky ones who is given the chance  to sing out everything that Randall has overcome. And I will do it at the top of my lungs, with all the energy I possess and with all the love I feel for this beautiful woman, who I am blessed to call my friend.

Until that day comes I will have to settle for singing her praises from my humble little blog.

Randall is a person who has taught me many important things – for starters she has taught  me about forgiveness. She has taught me the power of letting go of pain and letting God rest his hand on your heart. She has taught me about the power of the Atonement. More than once she has told me about how love really is the solution and the answer to most of the problems that we face. I believe her because she knows.

She is kind. If you were to meet her I think you’d be struck by her gentleness and her serenity. She is also a wonderful in the way that she listens.

Listening is always a mark of humility, and Ran is humble – I don’t think she has ANY idea just how wonderful she really is.

Randall is a deeply compassionate person. I have noticed that when we are having a discussion when I get crusty and adamant she is soft and caring. I really love her compassion. When I am with her I notice that her instincts always fall on the side of being loving, and her compassion always inspires me to try to be more this way myself.

She is willing to work very, very hard to do God’s will. I have rarely met a harder worker. She just keeps chipping away, no matter how hard the task – hoping, hoping, hoping and working, and waiting for God to come through. She has the lovely grace that comes to those of God’s children who have really learned to wait upon Him.

She and her husband, H.L. are two of my heroes. Their relationship is such a wonderful example to me of selfless love and giving. Because I have been known to be fiercely protective of my girl friends, who they date and marry is of great concern to me, I couldn’t have been happier that Randall and H. L. chose each other. He has been and continues to be such a fantastic husband and father. Together they make the most beautiful team.

Randall is fun. We have had lots of fun together. Just thinking about the crazy stuff we did as co-eds makes me laugh – remember how I always wanted to find a hot tub at around 1:00 am, WHAT was that about? When we couldn’t find a hot-tub we’d often settle for those random swings, do you remember that? How you let me sleep on your floor after we watched X-files because I was always so creeped out! Our search for the ultimate hair cut – we traveled to the far reaches of UT looking for that hair cut. You found an apartment for us and my room had clouds painted on the ceiling – that was awesome. You were my chauffeur b/c I still didn’t have my license. THE HUMILIATION! I remember you taking me over to the little shop where your wedding dress was. I remember they wouldn’t let you try it on so you sent pictures of you wearing to to me – with the bows and without the bows. You dropped me off at the MTC when I was mission bound. Colloquium class – that was a winner! The winner that brought you and H together. Viva Mexico! Staying up late into the night talking, and talking and talking…I guess some things haven’t changed!

Randall is impeccably stylish. I have always loved looking through her closet (with her permission, don’t worry!) She has always had a superior wardrobe. I remember someone once saying of her, “She always looks so good… and have you noticed, she always wears a belt!” I thought that was a funny thing to say – the part about the belt – but it is true. She always looks beautiful (even when she is pregnant- she doesn’t feel beautiful but she IS!!)  She has a natural polish. Her tallness (those lovely long legs) and her light eyes and dark hair, those gorgeous cheek bones, and rosebud lips help the clothes considerably – but as ever, I think the inner beauty far outshines the exterior. But let me tell you, that exterior ain’t bad!!

Randall is a great athlete – for starters she is a great water skier, snow skier, basketball player etc and these days, as she isn’t playing on many sports teams, she has been working out at the gym. She has become something of a gym maniac. I have nothing but respect for her in this department.

(missing from this photo is Eliza May - sorry Ella, I should have kept all those Xmas cards your mom sent me!)

She is a wonderful mother. I remember once looking at a photo of her holding her oldest son, Jack. She was lit in such a way that she looked like she was sporting a halo. That is how I see her as a mother. I am not saying that she is perfect, but I know her heart – I know what she desires and I know her intentions – and they are BEAUTIFUL. She has fought so hard for her children – for their happiness and for hers.

I want her (and anyone who happens to read this post) to know just how much she means to me. I love her more than I can say!

Happy Birthday, Ran!